Looking Forward to Vegas, Baby!

i-cant-keep-calm-we-are-going-to-vegas-babyI’m leaving this evening to fly to Las Vegas for our family reunion and I am pretty excited about it. I have mentioned in the past that I am not really close to anyone in my very large family. I have never felt like I fit in and have always felt like a failure and a disappointment. However, years of learning, growing and changing, and several months of researching and building a the family tree has given me a new perspective. Β 

I have learned so much about everybody and realize that I am no different than any of them. I have connected with several family members online over the past several months and I am so excited to get to see many of them in person. I do not feel like the black sheep any longer and it is so nice to have people know me.

Want to know the secret? I had to “know” myself first. I had to be able to acknowledge myself as a person of worth and value. I had to learn what my likes and dislikes were. I had to allow the real me to emerge. I had to love myself and accept all my flaws. I had to learn to be real about my feelings. I had to accept that my life will never be perfect and neither will I and embrace the relief that this acceptance brought. I had to learn that I mattered.

These things are life changing!Β I no longer live to please and take care of everyone else. Yes, I still want to please everyone andΒ I want people to be happy, but I now understand that there is nothing I can do to make them happy and it is not my job. I can be loving, supportive and encouraging but how they choose to feel or what they choose to do is not my problem. I can be there for someone as long it is not at my own expense. When I start feeling that it is, I must be strong enough to back away.

My journey in recovery will never end but it has brought about much change, happiness and peace into my life. I do not strive to be anything or anyone other than who I am today. It’s so freeing and I kinda like who I am today. πŸ™‚

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3 replies »

  1. You are Amazing and inspiring to all that know you. Truly loving, kind and honest. Love you tons my BFF πŸ˜‰

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  2. Thank you for sharing. In my journey, I’m at your beginning. I have to start figuring out who I am. Thanks to your words, I can look forward to a positive result from the process. I hope your trip was amazing!

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  3. Hi Pam, thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Yes, my trip was amazing and I had such a wonderful time. I’m excited to hear you are beginning your journey to healing and recovery. It will be rough at times but just hold on because it truly gets better and is so worth it. Please contact me if you ever want to. Blessings to you!

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