Why is it so difficult for me to speak my truth? Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependent No More”, has 9 pages of lists of codependent traits and behaviors. I had to chuckle when I counted them because I thought to myself, “I’m still so jacked up!” Here are a few of them that often keep me from speaking my truth:
Caretaking ~ Codependents may:
- try to please others instead of themselves.
- find it easier to feel and express anger about injustices done to others rather than injustices done to themselves.
Low self-worth ~ Codependents tend to:
- think they’re not good enough.
- fear rejection.
Repression ~ Many codependents:
- become afraid to let themselves become who they are.
Communication ~ Codependents tend to:
- find it difficult to get to the point.
- eliminate the word no from their vocabulary.
- avoid talking about themselves, their problems, feelings, and thoughts.
- think what they have to say is unimportant.
- apologize for bothering people.
I only selected a very few from the 9 pages, but oh my Lord, the list goes on! If I had to pick one word that describes why I may not speak my truth, it would be “FEAR”. There are many acronyms for the word fear but my favorite is:
Forgetting Everything’s All Right
Notice I said, “may not speak my truth”? That’s because I can and I have. It took me many years to learn that it was okay to speak my truth and that what I had to say mattered, if to no one else, to me. It is certainly not always easy and a few times has sent me in to a tizzy of fear after the fact, but here I am today to tell you that I survived. The world did not fall off its axis and life did not end. Things turned out the way they were supposed to, in my favor or not, and Everything’s All Right.
It takes time to learn to be true to yourself and to stand up for what you want or believe, but you can do it. Don’t settle for the injustice you are doing to yourself! Say what you have to say! Be gentle with your words but be honest. Don’t let things spin around in your head to the point you have no peace. Trust that things will work out the way they are supposed to and you will be okay no matter what the outcome.