Turning the Page

Roller-CoasterThe last several months have been a pure roller coaster ride and I’m to the point I think I’m going to vomit. I need off and the only way to do that is to…you guessed it, “Get Off”. Easier said then done sometimes, I know.

Another long relationship has ended and it was coming for awhile. I am not devastated (as I have been in past relationships) but I am saddened. We remain friends, though that in itself is difficult as I go from talking to him everyday, anytime I want, to silence. Keeping busy and focused is difficult as I wonder, “What’s he doing? Who’s he with? How’s he doing?” All unhealthy behavior, though I’m sure it’s only natural, and it is a struggle to put myself back in check.

Along with a host of health issues, changes in medications and new medications which I seem to be having a little difficulty adjusting to, I am a train wreck waiting to happen. Apparently insomnia caused but brain spins (you know what that’s like, right) and medication are not helping.

pagesHowever, I have the tools. I know what needs to be done. It is my choice to use them or not. It is my choice to stay on this unhealthy ride or get off. It is my choice to read the same chapter over and over or turn the page. Well, I am pulling out my arsenal, getting back in the saddle of life, and riding like the wind! (Sounds a little exciting, doesn’t it?)

I am reaching out to friends, getting out of the house and doing something fun. I am refocusing on what is good and healthy for me and what makes me happy. I will not let the lies from the enemy I hear in my head sink into my heart again. I AM worthy, I AM beautiful, I AM significant!

I have been on an REO Speedwagon kick this past week and this song really stuck in my head. My mantra for this moment in my life is: “Turn Some Pages”!

 

 

Categories: Pain, Self-Awareness, Tools

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