When you’re in the rooms of recovery, any kind of recovery, they have a ton of sayings they call tools, to help you stay on or get back on track. This is one of my favorites! Yes, yes, I do ask myself this question, although it certainly is more fun when I get to ask someone else. Okay, maybe “fun” isn’t the word I should use but I must admit, I have had fun with it. You know, recovery doesn’t have to be hard, somber, rigid…it can be quite fun, especially when you have others in your circle. It’s not something you do alone, though unfortunately, some people do.
My best friend, we’ll call her Lucy, is a flaming codependent. I can call her that because you know the old saying, “takes one to know one”. She and I have had many conversations over the years that have ended up with me asking her this question. I can’t help but laugh at the number of times I’ve asked her in the midst of her tyraid, “So, how’s that working for you?”. Sometimes, I get an earful about how it’s not and sometimes I get socked.
When I or someone else asks me this question, it’s usually a hint that I’m not minding my own business or I’m trying to control something that I have no business trying to control. It’s a gentle reminder that I do not have to try and fix everything or please everyone. It’s a phrase that brings me back to thinking about my own sanity and well being and what I need to do to maintain it. It helps me to uncover the fears that are causing me to “be all up in someone else’s business” and focus on working through those fears.
Try it sometime. When you are all stressed out about someone or something and find yourself on a rant, stop for just a brief moment and ask yourself, “So, how’s that working for you?”, then answer honestly. Dig deep and don’t be afraid!